I met Nicola some time in 2005, while we worked together at a rich media ad server named PointRoll. I worked in the Chicago office, and heard stories about how awesome she was, from co-workers that came out to visit LA. The “smart” Account Manager… not a descriptor used often by the sales team (Ironically ๐คฆโโ๏ธ). Of course I’d have to perform this validation myself.
I engineered us working on a project together. Right away I recognized the hustle. The most frequent sentence starter was: “So how about this…”.
I managed to then engineer a trip out the the LA office… to “train other Sales Engineers”… which was true.
“Yo. I’m coming out to LA in 2 weeks to work with the SE’s”
Mondo
“Oh. Boom. You like steak? Yeah, you like steak. I’m going to take you to this great place for steak. You can ‘speak-ah the spanish’ and get us the special menu. It’s a date.”
Nicola
๐ค
“Cut to…”
I make it to LA, and we go out to dinner as Bossa Nova (the start of an addiction). She takes me to some ice cream place on UCLA campus. The next day a bookstore (a foreshadowing on another addiction). And jamming to Common Sense (back when he went by that) and some Funk music on a driven tour of the city.
Lets see…
- Smart โ
- Hustle โ
- Loves Food โ
- Loves Books โ
- Great Music Taste โ
MIND BLOWN. Instantly proposed. Not marriage… that proposal comes years later ๐
And so we start our own side hustle:
Nodegarden
We create our own Creative and Development agency. The goal being to do just enough work to fund the MANY MANY MANY idea’s we came up with.
We create TONs of banner ads, some microsites, a golf game, and some pet projects.
For those that know… Nicola was VORACIOUS with researching. Most don’t know quite HOW deep the rabbit hole often went. Some got a shock when sorting through her books… and that is not even the far-off-view of the TIP of the iceberg. It was a full-time job just vetting and scoping the constant ideas.
My fondest memories with Nicola are our late night chats/debates on not just hustle projects… but also Philosophy, Society, History, the Future, everything. I’m pretty certain at some point we solved who shot Biggie. Soooo many late nights on the couch. She would always expose me to some new things to research. And when I’d tell her “don’t do/eat/watch that… it’ll make you explode”, she’d make an argument for it, maybe say an “mmm hmmm, sure”. But she would then go down the research spiral, and I’d get a text hours later, or a call the next day…
“Boom. I’m sending you this link/book/item. It’s going to change your life”
Nicola
And it would be that she listened, pivoted, and expanded. Though truthfully, sometimes it was some left-field shit too. ๐
Then the many times she was there for me when I had all kinds of family drama, work drama, or just general geek drama. While the recommendations were often too black-and-white for me… she listened. She cared. Hell, she’d get PISSED… and then I’d have to be the one to talk HER down. ๐
But it was also the random: “So how is Mina and Madi doing with ____”.
or “I’m going to get them ___.”
I am apparently also one of the Very few that Nicola cooked for. I think most people believed she lived off of Costco Pizza, Izzy’s, and Trader Joe Chocolate Lava cakes. Though to be fair… it’s easy to see why, as it WAS quite frequent.
For those Nay-Sayers… Things Nicola cooked:
| Steak | Eventually she got tired of me always wanting to go to Bossa Nova. She then said she was going to make me a steak that will put BN to shame. “Boom. I’ve learned this new ‘Reverse Sear’, this is going to change your life”. After the first 100 times, she finally accepted I don’t like Lemon Pepper, and BAAAM, flavor town. |
| Grilled Chicken | Also to combat the need to go to Bossa Nova, she’d start making the chicken that she’d always order from them. I truly believe the REAL reason she liked making it was: 1) She got to beat the chicken breast with the mallet. 2) It was nearly undebatable that Lemon Pepper was the proper seasoning to put on it. |
| Mashed Potatoes | I’m not sure how she made these so damn delicious. She swore they were so good I wouldn’t need anything else in the meal… she was correct (though it often DID join the steak). |
| Salmon and Rice | Ok. So this was actually ME that got her to cook this. You’d swear her shock in Costco when I said “let’s get Salmon”, was as if she had never eaten it before. This was the very first time she ever let me cook in her kitchen. It took 12 YEARS!!! Of course she tried to put lemon pepper on it the first time she cooked it though. |
| Tortellini | Guess who got a GIANT bag of this, and then the TWO giant jars of pasta sauce. I was instructed that there is a fine art to boiling the water, and that’s why hers comes out better than when someone else makes it. |
| Popeyes Biscuit Sammich | Long before the craze happened, Nicola was already making the chicken sandwich. Chicken, Pickle, Cheddar, and Strawberry Jam. I was a non-believer at first. I was wrong. |
| Trader Joe’s Chocolate Lava Cake | Ok, maybe not so much “cooking”, but it couldn’t simply be just the cake. It needed ice cream, caramel sauce, and sometimes even whip cream. Plating mattered. Oh and “here, eat it with THIS fork, this is the good fork”. |
I didn’t say it was a huge menu… but she made sure that she cooked at least once per visit. Besides that, we were solid regulars at:
| Chipotle | It was very explicitly stated that I could NOT have the guac. I’m pretty sure the people working there recognized us coming in and KNEW the argument about guac would happen. “No no… its a scam… you aren’t wasting money on guac.” This is one of the rare times I’d be allowed to win… mostly because I would end it with “I’m a grown ass man, and I work hard to afford guac. I’ll buy you some guac, and if you don’t eat it, I will.” |
| Panda Express | We all know the true motivation here โ and Chipotle โ was that she could “Stutherstein” the order to maximize item-to-cost ratio. She DID however have a regular splurge on Honey Walnut Shrimp once I introduced it. |
| Al’s Hot Chicken | One of my early visits to LA, I said I wanted Chicken and Waffles, and of course it was Roscoe’s she swore was the best. This was a lie. I think she even conceded (silently) defeat on this one when we discovered Al’s. There is no way to come out of this meal without orange hands… even ME who eats everything with a fork. But it is SOOO worth it. Of course I couldn’t get a rootbeer, because “No, those soda’s are a scam… I got drinks at home. You like Izzy, I’ve got your favorite Orange ones” ๐ |
| Bossa Nova | Even after she got tired of it, she’d still humor me. Even if in the last 2 yrs it was “I’m just going to drive you there, and I’ll get Popeyes on the way back”. My go-to: Skirt Steak, Rice, Black Beans, and Plantains Her go-to: Grilled Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Black Beans, and Plantains … but no drinks … “I’ve got drinks at home” despite the fact we were eating there ๐ |
| [?] Italian Deli | Sadly, after years of going, I never paid attention to the name. An italian grocery story that has a hot-foods bar to the right as your walk in. They have THE BOMB Italian Sausage and Meatball sandwiches. Just when you think “Oh, half will be enough…” NO. You need a FULL. The secret Strutherstein combo is Sausage AND Meatballs, plus extra sauce. |
| [?] Burger Place | OK, so we discovered this one late in the game. I swear she drove for an hour to get to wherever it is. It’s legit on the corner with some crackheads. Picnic tables in the parking lot. The characters that come to this place is worth the travel by itself just for people watching. But the burger!!! I am a burger snob, and holy shiatsu, this is the best burger I’ve ever eaten. I regret that I literally have ZERO clue on even what direction we drove in. We were always in much heated discussion on drives. |
| [?] Israeli Place | We’ve been to this place a few times. We always entered in the rear… maybe thats the REAL entrance, but it was certainly how Nicola insisted. Its a restaurant, plus deli, plus (what-seems-to-be) meat processing. Massive table-ful food that is so delicious. As usual, I never paid attention to directions. |
Popeyes, El Pollo Loco, and Del Taco are not on the list above, because oddly enough, I never actually went WITH her… she’d always bring it back.
Nicola never missed a single shared birthday. Oh right, forgot to mention, we have the same birthday. Another sign we knew we’d be life partners. I was the one to forget most often, but I’d always get a call:
“BOOM. You are older and wiser. How are you going to make this the best year?”
Nicola
I had actually texted her the day she died, to share an audiophile’s youtube channel. It’s always a matter of minutes before I get a reply, or more often a call to talk about it. I figured she was busy. Even if we hadn’t talked for days/weeks, we always picked up like no issue. Though to be honest, I’d bet we never made it more than a week without talking in some form… even if just link sharing.
I was out in Norway, traipsing about the mountains and fjords, and so got distracted until our birthday. Sadly because of the time zone difference I told myself “wait a bit, so you can talk to her properly when she’s awake”, and went out the celebrate. I came back so late that it was going to have to wait till morning. When I went to go text her: “wtf, almost 20 yrs without a missed birthday call”, I had facebook open and the feed updated to show memorial pictures. I broke down. She had been gone for a week, and I had no clue. 12hrs later I was on a plane to LA.
Being one she trusted in her life to blend sooo many things with: Bank Accounts, Internet/Streaming/Shopping, Apartment, Company, Insecurities, Frustrations… I truly feel blessed.
To have been a help in closing out her estate, and getting the catharsis effect from the physical/tactile (and emotional) tasks. Each item I put in a box has a story, and I’ve been a part of many of them. I’ve learned of new stories from new friends I’ve only heard of. I am fortunate to have been adopted by them so openly.
I’ve taken the pain of losing Nicola, to be the kick in the ass to start putting my affairs in a better state.
- We don’t know when we are gone.
- We don’t always get to say goodbye.
- Make sure that everyone in your life that matters KNOWS that they do.
One thing I am grateful for is that Nicola and I always knew we loved each other, and said it.
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